It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
