is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I need water and some morals
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
