Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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