I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
