weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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