would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
