tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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