just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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