i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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