Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
