i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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