girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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