Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
