i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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