We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
