Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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