I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
