Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Apparently you make a good broom.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
