How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
