Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
