Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
