I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
