I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
