I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
