Your tits are I can't wait for
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize