I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
