she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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