i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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