I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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