It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
