im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
