okay pat passed out under dana's car
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
we're so committed to being not committed
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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