This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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