i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
