He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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