he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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