Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
