I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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