my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
