i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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