I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
