with your own penis?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm getting married
To pizza
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
