we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
