Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
