I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
