Kiss
Puke
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Randomize
