If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
