just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I will be naked everywhere
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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