The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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