I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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