Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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