i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
4 words: hood of his car
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
