I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
