I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
