I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
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I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
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You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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