So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You pole danced in your parka.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize