3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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