what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
